OVERVIEW
Have you lost any of your loved ones? Is your mind occupied with the thoughts of your lost one? Have you not returned to normal life? Does returning to normal life mean being unfaithful to the one you lost?
Do you no longer enjoy your life? Are you experiencing the feeling of guilt? Did you fail to do things you wanted for the one you lost? Have you done things for your beloved lost one that you now regret and feel guilty about it?
If your answer to a few of these questions is yes, then you are still mourning. I have seen a number of people who have kept mourning for the rest of their lives. They have maintained their connection with their lost one through grief. They refuse to return to their normal lives and they continue to live their lives with mourning, grief and bereavement. There is no doubt that mourning does not merely belong to the lost loved one. Anything that is considered as a loss, such as a relationship, an opinion, loss of a position, property and assets, etc. can also lead to mourning reactions in us.
Mourning is a natural process during which we experience healing. However, it is likely that two problems arise through this process, first one is prolongation and the second is its intensity. Natural healing process of mourning and bereavement after losing a loved one is between 2 to 6 months. In some cases, it is considered normal for this healing process to take up to a year. Severe griefs and bereavements that last more than the mentioned time are considered to be sick and require treatment. Therefore, you need to decide to come out of mourning and return to normal life through holding meetings with Dr. Afshari.
what is mourning, grief and bereavement?
Grief applies to a subjective feeling arising from the death of a loved one. The process of resolving grief is called mourning, and it is in fact the societal expression of an individual’s post bereavement behavior and action. Bereavement refers to the deprivation of a loved one due to death.
Stages of grief
- Shock and denial (a few minutes, days or weeks)
- Disbelief and numbness
- Searching behaviors (crying, regrets of another visit, objection)
- Acute discomfort (several weeks to several months)
- Periods of physical discomfort
- Withdrawal
- Mental preoccupation
- Anger
- Restlessness, fidget and confusion
- Lack of goal and motivation
- Assimilation with the deceased
- Sadness and sorrow
- Back to work
- Take previous roles
- Acquire new roles
- Re-experience joy and happiness
- Search for love, affection and companionship
Symptoms of persistent complex bereavement disorder
- Permanent enthusiasm/regret for the lost person (This desire is shown in the games for children)
- Severe grief and emotional distress and suffering in response to the aforementioned death
- Mental preoccupation with the lost one
- Apparent difficulty in death acceptance
- Experiencing disbelief or emotional shock about the lost loved one
- Anger or rage against the intended loss
- Inconsistent perceptions of yourself in relation to the lost person (Blaming yourself, for instance)
- Excessive avoidance from missing reminders (For example avoiding people, places or related situations)
- Tendency to die so as to join the lost person
- Difficulty in trusting people since the death of the intended person
- Experiencing the feeling of loneliness or separation from others since the death of the aforementioned person
- The feeling of meaninglessness or emptiness of life without the presence of a lost person
- Confusion about their role in life or weakening of the sense of identity
- Difficulty in becoming interested and planning for the future